Someone Google searched my name and found this website. Who was it, I wonder?

If you’re a giant robot, why the hell would you EVER need to transform into a freaking VW Beetle?

I had prepared a fairly nasty article about smoking in America. I was in a foul mood when I conceived of the concept for the article (It was right at the tail end of a slooooow evening commute) and it’s so negative that it probably would have offended the family and friends of smokers, to […]

This question came to me some years ago while I was working at my old job. My job at that company was to test finished product for microbiological defects. The company manufactured sweeteners that were, for the most part, microbiologically clean. It was rare that we would find a count of mold (that’s one mold […]

A question to which you already know the answer is a pretty goddamned dumb question. It feels like 90% of the instances of this question occur in situations such as the one pictured above. In situations when a person’s OK-ness is uncertain, it’s still a dumb question because an affirmative reply provides no helpful […]

An old cliche’ states that “there is no such thing as a stupid question.” That phrase was coined by dumb people with the intent of covering future occurrences of their own dumbness. It worked and the phrase caught on. If you’ve ever used that phrase then, I’m sorry, but you may be a dumbass. Of […]

As I mentioned earlier this week, I’ve been reading The Children of Hurin. The book is about a man named Hurin who is captured by the Dark Lord and cursed to sit upon a high throne and observe from afar with omniscient vision the lives of his children, whom the Dark Lord has also cursed.
The […]

If everyone on Earth stood on one continent and everyone jumped at the same time, would the resulting impact be enough to knock the Earth out of Orbit?
According to my calculations, no.
The resulting impact would accelerate the Earth about 0.0000000000017 meters per second per second. To put this in perspective there are about 31,500,000,000,000 seconds […]

This year isn’t a leap-year. If it was a leap year then tomorrow would be 2/29 instead of 3/1. Some years ago I pondered the question of babies born on that elusive day, the twenty-ninth of February. The joke is that those people only get a “true” birthday every four years. I asked myself “what […]

That is the question I posed to Google, the champion of information, the great oracle of our times. I ask Google questions, from time to time, often in the early afternoon lull following a tasty lunch or snack at work. One time I asked it if my laser printer is pregnant.
Most of the time I’m […]