I have an old Nintendo Gamecube sitting around collecting dust. Since I also happen to have a Nintendo Wii sitting around collecting dust I have no need for the Gamecube (the Wii plays all the old games.)

So I put an ad up on Craigslist. I’ll let the whole package (cables, controller, memory card , etc) go for $20 as long as the buyer pays cash and comes to pick the thing up.

This morning came the moment of dread when I check my email for replies from the sort of people who are interested in buying the weakest of the previous generation game consoles.  This set made my brain bleed much more so than the emails I get when I sell furniture on there. For example:

HEY I WANT THE GAMECUBE CALL ME 773-xxx-xxxx

Emails in all caps are deleted immediately because I refuse to let people who type in all caps use the internet to make their lives easier. Secondly, I hate calling people and I doubly hate calling total strangers regarding a used gamecube. The entire transaction will be conducted via email or it won’t be conducted at all.

Here’s another example:

do you still have it?

That’s the entire email. It was sent literally 1 hour after I posted the ad.

Out of all the emails I got there was one that used complete sentences with the right amount of capital letters. I gave the guy my address and told him he could come pick the thing up today. Unfortunately he responded to my last email with “JUST GIVE ME A CALL 773-xxx-xxx.” That’s right..caps and a phone number when all he had to do was come to my address and ring the buzzer any time today. Deleted.

Fuck it, I’m donating the thing to the Salvation Army.