Sorry, fellow nerds but I have to admit that I don’t watch Heroes on NBC. I have many time-stealing hobbies and TV is usually the pasttime that pays the price. On the other hand, I feel that NBC is doing a spectacular job advertising for the show both on TV and on the radio and I think I’ve caught enough details from the sound clips and 30 second TV ads to piece together a satisfactory amount of the plot.

Ok, there are a bunch of regular but attractive people and some of them have super powers. There’s a cheerleader who can do something, there’s Ali Landry, a Japanese guy, and some long-hair who appears to be some kind of artist. Also, there’s a villain named Skyler or something like that. All of their lives are interconnected somehow in an attempt to prevent some vague catastrophe from destroying the world. Early in the series (presumably before any of the characters have met) they’re all supposed to save the cheerleader because apparently someone is supposed to kill her. They succeed in saving her but it ends up that she’s adopted and her adoptive parents are evil. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that her adoptive parents work for some secret government agency. Her real mother is a superhero who can shoot fire or something. Meanwhile, this Skyler guy was captured but he escaped. The Japanese guy appears randomly, looking either bewildered or surprised. Perhaps his power is to channel bewilderment into beams of pure energy, I don’t know. Finally, Ali Landry is evil and tries to kill some people.

And the Cheerleader has the power to appear in our world on magazine covers and in TV commercials for cosmetics.

Am I close?