I think that all through college I was afflicted with a disorder called Delayed sleep phase syndrome!

patients can sleep well, and have a normal need for sleep. Therefore, they find it very difficult to wake up in time for a typical school or work day if they have only slept for a few hours. However, they sleep soundly, wake up spontaneously, and do not feel sleepy again until their next “night” if they are allowed to follow their own late schedule, e.g. sleeping from 4 a.m. to noon.

If I know my sleep psychology (why not) this disorder is caused by beer consumption (especially on weeknights,) video gaming binges exceeding 6 hours in length, and sometimes by excessive academic pursuits such as studying although the latter of these causes is strictly hearsay.

A couple years ago in a general web board forum a typical “self pity” thread had started in which the author lamented his imminent flunkage out of college and, in the typical style of a 19 year old pseudointellectual douche bag, listed all of the reasons why such a thing was happening. Naturally, it wasn’t his fault. As the thread slowly filled with mocking replies such as “haha you shoulda tried going to class once in awhile” the hapless thread author introduced delayed sleep phase syndrome as a defense of his inability to attend class. Could science finally have put a fancy name on laziness? It seemed so.

But seriously, this is a real sleep disorder that’s simply misdiagnosed a large portion of the time. I’m surprised I never hear about it. After all, we have a disease or syndrome for damn near everything these days and this one just seems ripe for the ol’ blame game when it comes to personal failure.