Well we’ve run the necessary tests in the cursed jar of peanut butter that we had in the office.

The result is Negative for Salmonella. This means that we didn’t find any. Hardly a surprise considering people had safely eaten from the jar before the outbreak had made the news (well, not literally from the jar. They made a sandwich or put it on Celery. We don’t tolerate finger-scoop peanut buttering in these parts.)

So what does this result mean? The answer is “practically nothing.” We would need to test dozens of samples from various points in the product lot to get a meaningful result. Microbiology, you see, is partly the study of statistics. One jar out of thousands is not statistically significant.
As long as I’m on the subject I might as well share this gem from the daily food safety bulletin that arrives in my inbox once a day.

Nordic Mother Shocked by Furry Taco Meat

United Press International
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/20070219-033557-1504r/
BERGEN — Karina Angvik, a mother of two in Norway, was, according to this story, greeted with a disturbing sight when she was preparing tacos for her two daughters: fur mixed in with her ground beef.

Angvik made her discovery in the Nordic city of Bergen marked the most recent revelation regarding the troubled meat producer formerly known as Gilde, Aftenposten reported.
While the Norwegian company has since changed its name to Nortura, it was linked to the appearance of an animal foot in sausage last week.
Before that, some of the company’s products were found to contain E. coli bacteria and several children died before the contamination could be contained.
While company officials have sworn to increase examination standards to prevent such incidents from occurring, that news did little to help Angvik when she found herself eating the furry taco meat, stating, “We had eaten up most (of the dinner) when I felt I had something strange in my mouth. I could tell right away it was something with animal fur.”

I’m sorry that the story is gross enough to possibly ruin your lunch (lunch is my favorite meal so I have the utmost respect for it.) Besides, the headline is the best part especially when you consider the colloquial (urban) definition of “taco meat”