I was pointed (by digg, of course) to the website for a new soft drink called Celsius. The makers of the drink claim that it raises your metabolism for a period of time resulting increased calorie burn during that time. I popped over to their FAQ to see how they account for this and I was mortified at the steaming pile of horse shit they packed into each and every answer. Here are the choicest bits:

Any substance which stimulates the body’s resting metabolic rate (RMR) and raises body temperature is called a thermogenic agent. Celsius is packed with thermogenic agents that work with your metabolism to turn up the heat in your caloric furnace and burn extra calories.

First off, a substance that raises body temperature is called a pyrogen and the condition that results is called a FEVER. Secondly, a substance that stimulates the body’s resting metabolic rate is called a stimulant.

An independent clinical trial was conducted by the Ohio Research Group to validate the calorie burning effects of Celsius. The results were presented on June 18th, 2005 at the International Society of Sports Nutrition Conference in New Orleans. The clinical research proved that drinking one 12-ounce bottle of Celsius increases metabolism on average 12 percent for up to a 3 hour period.

When you pay an organization that studies sports drinks and energy supplements to do a study on your energy supplement and then present the data to a group of sports nutrition executives it should hardly come as a surprise that the results are the exact results you wanted.

Taurine - A conditionally essential amino acid (from the list of ingredients)

Uhhh sorry guys. No chemist that I know of would ever call Taurine an amino acid. It is an organic acid and is sometimes called an amino sulfonic acid.

Celsius contains 200mg of caffeine which is similar to drinking two cups of coffee over a 3 hour period

Caffeine? And it increases your metabolism? Wow! That’s AMAZING. That’s a BREAKTHROUGH. Our lives are changed forever.

Increased mental alertness and concentration, better productivity and performance, improved stamina, boosted energy levels, and feelings of vitality (listed as the benefits of Celsius energy drink, besides the calorie burning)

So…basically the same benefits as drinking two cups of coffee.

My point in all this? Junk science is rampant these days. I urge everyone to take a good hard look at product marketing claims (remember “Kills 99.9% of bacteria” ?) and question where they came from or how they could have been interpreted differently.