Let me preface this by stating that I don’t play World of Warcraft nor have I ever played it. This statement isn’t intended to be a boast or a slam on people who do play it. In fact, I admit to desperately wanting to pick up a sword and slay my way around Azaroth as an Orc.

Back in the late nineties I played Ultima Online. Back then I was at the University of Illinois and there was little more than keeping my grades up and gaming on my list of priorities. By the time I hit senior year and I had the golden 11am to 3pm schedule of classes I had firmly established a 10pm to 3am gaming schedule on most weeknights. Fast forward to 2001 when Grand Theft Auto 3 came out. I was done with college and entering my 4th month of dating my then-girlfriend. After skipping out on plans with her for 3 consecutive nights due to my preference for playing GTA3 I decided it would be better to just dump her altogether. Beating up hookers and hucking grenades at police cars had proven too much for her to compete with.

To this day GTA3 holds a special place in my heart because it made me realize that spending time with her was just slightly duller than sitting in a car with no radio and drawing little elephants in the fog on the windshield.

Finally in 2004 WoW came out. The level of obsession caused by UO and GTA3 was fresh in my mind when I decided not to play WoW. This time around I had a girlfriend who I wanted to keep and I already had other hobbies and a Master’s Degree Thesis to occupy large blocks of my time.

But this post isn’t really about me. It’s not so much about the guys who neglect their wives/girlfriends in favor of video games either. My irritation stems from the girls who put up with that bullshit. Call it “enabling” if you wish. Consider the term “Gamer Widow.” The word “Widow” is indisputably connected to the concept of death. The traditional protocol following a death involves putting the person in the ground to rot. If an analogous protocol existed following the loss of a spouse or significant other to a video game for ~30 hours per week, I think we would hear less of this “gamer widow” nonsense and more sob stories from guys (or gals) who found their asses on the curb for spending too many nights in whatever fantasy realm they’re subscribing to.

This brings me back to poor “J,” the girl who lost me to GTA3. I think it was her repeated willingness to spend Saturday night alone at a moment’s notice that made me lose enough respect for her to justify the dumpage. If she had dumped me it probably would have stung for awhile and GTA3 might have found its way onto eBay.